New Activity: Hot Tubbin'

Just kiddin' (this blog now drops its "g"s in honor of Caribou Barbie, FYI) -- this is actually an RSVP thread. Confirm, and we add you to the list of great patriots below. Fail to pledge attendance, and we sic Michelle Bachmann on your anti-American ass.

Great Patriots:

Paul
Molly
Amelia
Katie
John A.
John B.
Lee
Grant
Jane
Jo
Jess
Scott
Emily
Rhandi
Adam
Mat
Vanessa
Shalu +1

Non-Patriot Communist Terror Sympathizers:

Jason W
Mike Amiet

FYI: Obama's speech at Grant Park is expected to take place around 10. Depending on crowds, temperature, security, etc. we may go over individually or as a group. Regardless, it is walking distance from our apartment, and you are welcome to come and go as you please.

REMEMBER: Costumes are mandatory.

New Activity: Nailin' Palin

Needless to say, we will be showing Hustler's fast-tracked piece of election pornography at our party:

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who "will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door." In another scene -- a flashback -- "young Palin's creationist college professor will explain a 'big bang' theory even she can't deny!"

There's also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.

Nailin' Palin is the working title, but alternate suggestions include Riding the Pipeline.

Offered Without Comment

You're Invited! (RSVP Here)

Greetings from your favorite fist-jabbing terrorist sympathizers, and congratulations -- you're officially invited to Jane & Grant's Election Party '08!

Come join us as we celebrate the election returns/plan our move to Canada. All political persuasions welcome, though Republicans must clearly identify themselves by NOT wearing an "I Voted" sticker.

• When: Election Day -- November 4, 2008, 6:00 PM until ...
  
• Where: The new apartment (you will receive an email with the address, etc. after you RSVP).

Below you'll find all the info you need, including the menu, dress code, and other rules and regulations. You must RSVP in the comments here; party crashers will be removed faster than Cindy Sheehan at a Bush/Cheney event. Please include an email address, number of people attending, etc.

Menu

Those of you who have been to our previous election-night parties are familiar with our Fuzzy Zoeller-inspired fare:


Guests are encouraged to bring light appetizers -- if you care to contribute, post here what you'll be bringing. Dessert will likely be provided by Ms.(?) Strobel. Pictures to follow.

There will be a "champagne" toast when the election results are final (or, in the event things go poorly, shots of bourbon).

Required Attire

So many good options ... Jane nixed the idea of a Tim Russert look-a-like (current version) contest ... Vitters & Hos (diapers optional)? Prominent Closeted Republicans?

We've decided to give you two choices:

Cindy McCain Look-Alike:

Break out your pearls, girls. Smeared red lipstick and pancake makeup a must.

Most Offensive T-Shirt (Tangentially Related To The Campaign):

Acceptable ideas (click on photo for link):

NOTE: We will not accept half-assed entries (literally: we will not let you in the door). Want to spend your evening wandering around Streeterville, alone and unhappy? Ask Amiet for a costume idea.

Activities & Games

We'll have activities scheduled throughout the evening, including games, shots, etc. Suggestions welcome -- email any ideas to me or Jane.

***Note: We regret to inform you that due to cost issues, the John Edwards Paternity Test game has been canceled. We suggest using the traditional "but he looks just like you" line, or this for our New York friends.

• Pin The Tail On The Donkey/Pin The Indictment On The Republican
  

• Election Night Bingo

• "Champagne" Toast

Let's hope we don't have to play this game:

But if God is dead (or Katherine Harris is still in charge), we'll follow it up with a less-douchey version of this: